Hey, I've posted a different version of chapter one. Give it a read and vote which chapter you like best. Please? Or... You can give me reviews and critics as well.
-cheers!
It was drizzling that morning. A little boy's scream could be heard coming from house number 14 at fifth avenue. As to why the little boy screamed, it was because he threw a tantrum because his mother wouldn't buy him that toy he requested. his mother tried to coax him to calm down. They were the only ones alone at home that day. The little imp's older siblings are away at school while his father is of at the office working.
The mother refused to submit to his request no matter how many outburst he gave. Why can't she buy that life size Robo-Bot action figure he wanted? His friend all have have it... Why can't he have one too? They need to buy it now! Else, the super limited edition Robo-Bot would have already been sold out. He wants it now!
His mother tried to reason with him. It's too expensive. It's too big. It's completely unnecessary. They needed the money for more important matters other than Robo-Bot. Work was not going too smoothly currently and they had to safe up their money so that they could send the little boy to junior school next month as well as finance their daily need. She promised him to buy a Robo-Bot for Christmas, but he wouldn't listen, instead his tantrums only grew worse.
Upset that his desires weren't fulfilled, he gave one last outburst screaming that he hated her before running out of the house. Panicked, his mother immediately ran after him. He headed towards the playground a few blocks away, not keeping an eye at the object speeding as he crossed the street. The mother screamed his name and rushed with all her might and pushed the boy out of the way, saving him. But at a very high cost. A life for a life.
The next thing the boy realized after that impact he got from the push was crimson liquid oozing out of that familiar figure lying flat against the street. People crowded at the scene, yelling for help while an ambulance rushed to her aid. The medics carefully placed her in the ambulance and speed back to the hospital. The little boy screamed for his mother but he was held back by a pair of arms belonging to one of the neighbors. His eyes was blurred from the tears. Their family was contacted. A wave of anguish and grief spreader in their hearts. A single line from the telephon echoed through their heads.
"She passed away on her way to hospital after being struck by a truck in attempt to save you son..."
This was a spontaneous chapter. Might be overly dramatic or grammatically horrid. If it doesn't suit you taste, feel free to give me a critic and I'll try to re-edit it the best i can.
I plan to add a chapter weekly or every bi-weekly. Look forward to it! All support and encouragements are always highly valued! XD
btw, i was wondering whether or not i should re-do the plot of the first chapter. I mean... his mother's death due to his birth seems tragic and a bit hard to build a plot on... maybe I should give a different scenario resulting in his mother's death? what do you think?
-cheers!
Birth is their starting line. Death is like game over. Life have many goals. In this race of life, one is meant to pass through as many of these goals as possible. What lies after the finishing line may bring you happiness or grief and then a new race will begin with a new goal to reach. When one is born into this world, fate have already set their destiny. Each was given a set of gifts and curses that will bit by bit be revealed in their life, either for better or worse. These 'presents' are what they will have to rely on to reach their goal. Here is a fine example of a boy who came to this world given what seems to be an unbalanced set of misfortune and talents, different from the norm..
Darkness lingers in the sky outside of St. Anne Hospital. The moon was illuminating brightly over the sky, not a single cloud hovering over it. I's glow shined over a certain part of the hospital, as if it's anticipating an arrival of something special. All was silent except for a set of footsteps striding back and forth in front of a single door located within St. Anne. Not long after, the footsteps stopped and a loud cry could be heard coming from the room. Then a group of five men in white coats came out. The face of the man who was waiting outside the room glowed with anticipation and hope, but the faces of the men in white coats could not be said the same. Their faces was hard and their eyes was pained. The oldest of the men in white spoke briefly. That single line that has escaped from his mouth have managed to stole the light from the man's face, replacing it with fear and dread.
The man rushed pass the doctors and went inside the room. There in the center of the room, lay a woman pale and still. Beside her, a nurse was cradling an infant. The nurse's head was lowered so that no one could see her face.
"I'm very sorry sir..." she whispered.
The world began to crumble before the man's eyes. A cry of anguish echoed through the building's courtyard that night of July. At Friday the thirteenth...
Since this novel kept on nagging me... I decided to continue it. ^^ It might be a little different from it's original script, but please bear with me.
I'd like to give my biggest regards to my friend Amanda Gracia, who has helped me with the birth and existence of the characters and plots of the story.
I do hope you'll enjoy reading it.
PS.
I'll add in illustrations if there's requests for it.
-cheers!
